Week 3 Story: The Jealous Brother

The Jealous Brother

Once upon a time there lived two brothers, who were inseparable twins, wanting to be the best of the best. John, the older one by just minutes, was always looking out for his "younger" brother, Zeal. They ventured out to the wilderness together and searched for treasure. Anything you name, they were always together. They grew up rich from their parent's businesses, so they never lived a poor life. 

One day, John rejected his brother's call for him to go venture out to wherever it may have been. For the first time since they were born, Zeal felt a sharp pain in his chest, when John said no. Curious as he was, Zeal waited for his brother's departure from home, to see what he was up to. His mission was to spy on his brother and figure out WHY he was rejected. When the time came, Zeal followed his brother to a cafe and saw his brother with some girl. When he got a good glimpse on who it was, it was the sweet girl named Jess. 

At that very moment, Zeal felt a jealous feeling building inside of him. He knew that if he did not do something quick, his relationship with John would plunder. John had a business trip to go on with his parents, so Zeal had only a matter of time. 

So, he thought of an idea to clone himself as his brother, wearing the same clothes, cologne, and whatever it was to look like him. Later, he had set up a date with Jess and intended to end things right then and there. 

For some reason though, Zeal felt some sort of attachment towards this girl, a feeling of which he had never experienced. On went the date and so did Zeal's feelings. Before they ended their date, Zeal kissed Jess "goodnight", later realizing what he had done. 

A week had passed and Zeal had been hanging out with Jess every single day. But, it was time that his brother came back from his trip. Forgetting time, Zeal went on a date with Jess and he had brought her home to show her around. As they were lingering around the rooms upstairs, Zeal heard the front door. 

In shock, Zeal and Jess were both confronted by a furious John. John acted out of his emotions and accidentally shoved Zeal down the stairs, causing him to lay unconscious. As this happened, he slapped Jess in the face and wished for her death. 

In the end, Zeal had been paralyzed, and Jess was saved by her quick actions to shove John down as well, saving herself from the brother.

BibliographyAhalya by Ralph T.H. Griffith

Author's Note: I wrote this story based off of "Ahalya", which was written by Ralph T.H. Griffith. In this story, the characters are: Rama, Indra, Ahalya, and Gautama. The story is basically about Indra disguising himself as Gautama, who seduces Ahalya, his wife. When Gautama finds out about this, he curses both of them. Then, Rama comes along to save Ahalya from the curse placed on her.

Comments

  1. Okay that was definitely not how I expected the story to end! One of my favorite things about reading stories like these and the ones that we are assigned is that no matter the time, place, or people involved in the specific story, the same scenario is repeatedly reproduced in the grand scheme of time as humans interact with each other, driven by the same humanly drives of sexual attraction, maximizing and securing the resources you have, and fighting with your sibling for the dumbest reasons.

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  2. Hello Paul! I really enjoyed your story! I was also contemplating to use this story as a backbone to base one of my stories off of. I like the deception and disguise utilized by the characters. However, I ended up going down a different route. Anyways, I will end by saying keep up the good work! And good luck with your semester!

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  3. Hey Paul! This is too funny. Immediately after reading your title, I thought it said, "The Jonas Brothers." This story that you created was very interesting. I would never expect that this story would end in an emotional way. The layout that you have created in your story is perfect as well. Keep up the great work and I hope you have a successful semester!

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  4. Hi Paul, your story became very dramatic really quick. It was a simple and easy read. That is crazy how the story escalated so quickly too. I would have never thought something like this would happen when I first started reading. I thought it was going to be a simple jealous moment that was going to be fixed. Over all I like your story, I’m looking forward to reading more.

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  5. Hi Paul, this story starts off somewhat nostalgically as we watch two brothers be separated by one of them starting to date. I think the twist where the brother begins to clone himself into his brother and date the other girl does a good job of displaying the treachery that was portrayed in the original story. Overall, it was a great read!

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  6. Hi Paul,
    I really enjoyed getting to read your story and liked how you made it so dramatic so quickly into the story. It would have been hard to believe what happened in it when you first start reading it. This was a great story and it was very interesting from the beginning all the way to the end. Have a good semester.

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