Week 5 Story: Jess and Jones
Jess and Jones
One summer day, the water was glistening and birds chirping. It had been a fine summer with everything going mighty fine. Out in the fields with cows and horses, there was a house that managed it all. The household of Mr. Madison, who was well-known for his pure humor and intelligence. He had two son, Jones and Jackson, who were everything to him. Jones had a wife, Jess, who was a beloved daughter of Mr. Madison's dear friend. As relationships were sturdy and people were happy, it seemed as if almost nothing went wrong.
On a gloomy afternoon, when everyone had gone out except Jess, there had been weird noises outside. Jess went to take a look, but as she opened the door, a tall man stood there with a grim on his face. Immediately, she saw that it had been Jones's arch enemy, Luther. Luther was a man of extreme sorrow and brought along negative vibes all around him. He had never been happy since the day Jones was able to have Jess. Since their high school days, he had always been infatuated with her, until Jones took that from him. Jones had asked Jess to go to a place he had always wanted to take her. As gullible as she was, she went along with him, out of sweet pity.
When Jones got home, he noticed the silence in the house. Not knowing where Jess had went, he called his father. As both men sat at home, not knowing where Jess had gone, the father was furious. he blamed Jones for not being cautious for his wife's well-being and kicked him out of the house. Days went by since Jones had been gone and as soon as you knew it, time had gone by. Mr. Jackson was in grief as his son and daughter-in-law were both gone. It was only a matter of time that he had passed away from the piled stress brought upon him.
Jones had heard the news about his father and acted towards it and went to go find Jess with his friend, Dae. Dae had been around since Jones and Jess met, and he knew how much she meant to him. Apart from that, he also heard the news about his father. The two men went searched out and about to find Jess only to find her with the man who took her, Luther.
They beat the pulp out of Luther, till he lay, breathless. As for Jess, Jones had not been excited to see her as much as she wanted. She was then asked to take a test to examine her purity from being inside another man's house. Once everything was cleared, Jones asked for her forgiveness and the two went on to live their lives.
Bibliography: Ramayana by Nina Paley
Author's Note: This story originates from Rama and Sita's story. It was a video made by Nina Paley, who describes the life of the two. Rama is exiled and his father dies of grief. Sita is taken away by King Ravana, and later she is found, but has to be tested of her purity. I took this story and put it into modern time, as well as switching some of the plot up.
Hi Paul! I really like your style of writing! You are very good at using some strong descriptions and supporting details. i am a huge fan of Nina Paley, and so I really appreciate your ability to take the ideas of her story and convert it into something modern. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Paul! I like how you made this story into your own. I had a few problems just reading the story and understanding what was going on. I think you may have put the paragraph alignment on CENTER which makes the text look a little funky, which made it a little harder for me to read it. Also, in the second paragraph (in the second to last sentence) it says Jones asks Jess to go somewhere but I thought it was Luther asking her to leave? I think the premise was good and you put some good thought into it, but there are just a few technical issues that would be super easy to resolve!
ReplyDeleteHey Paul! One thing that I noticed at the end of the first paragraph was that you may have mixed Jones up with Luther when Luther convinced Jess to leave with him. Maybe you could elaborate a bit more on where Jess ended up, and how Jones and Dae were able to get her back; I think that would be interesting to know!
ReplyDeleteHey Paul! I really enjoyed your take on the story. I noticed that the formatting of your author's note looks a little strange on the browser version of the blog. You may want to go back and check out what is causing large awkward spaces in the middle of sentences. Other than that, I really like what you wrote! I hope to read more of your stories soon.
ReplyDeleteHey Paul, I like the way you have set up your story. I like the way it is broken up it makes it easy to read and follow through the story. I was into the story from the beginning because of the way you started your story. You have really good detail in your story. I hope to read more of your stories. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Paul,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you have this story set up. It was a lot of fun to be able to read it, especially since it was so easy to follow along with how you set it up. I liked the way you moved this setting to a much ,more modern day with still being able to keep the original theme intact. Hope you have a good rest of the semester.