Comment Wall
Here's my comment wall for my portfolio, My Indian Epics Portfolio !!
Leave feedback here and questions or comments!
Leave feedback here and questions or comments!
Introduction to the simple life of Paul
My Life My name is Paul Choi and I am currently a senior here at OU. My major is Information Studies, which is within the College of Arts and Sciences Department. I'd say the coolest thing about my major is that I could do many things with it, without being limited to specifics. I plan to pursue a career in cyber security for which ever company gives me an opportunity to do so. I am currently taking my capstone, which is the most exciting class I've taken so far in my history of classes and I plan to try extra hard so that I can stand out to the clients we are working with. This capstone is similar to an internship due to the fact that we work with different clients and perform a plethora of tasks, which range from designing websites to creating databases. Apart from my college life, I like to do many things outside of school. One thing in particular would be just hanging out with my friends and enjoying some drinks while we talk about some deep internal issues th
Hey Paul! I just read the second story in your portfolio and it is interesting to see that trope of social class breaking friendships through a difference in resources translate so well to the lives of college students like ourselves. I think it would be interesting if you possibly expanded upon the merit of the two students and compare why both of the students are there besides just how they got there. For example, you could explain that James just wanted to go college to join the same fraternity as his father, while Patrick was very passionate about learning. This could be used as a tool to show an even further divide in how different experiences change the characters in your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Paul,
ReplyDeleteI just looked through your project website, and I am so glad that I did. You have done an excellent job so far. First of all, I love the images that you have used throughout your website. My favorite is the old time vintage picture of the man on your first story. Very cool image! Also, your stories are excellent. I enjoyed reading through both of them. However, I spent the most time reading through your second story. This second story was truly touching. I am sure situations like this arise much more frequently than we would expect. I love how you started with the two being kids who did not care about social structure. The drifting apart of their friendship was very vivid. Also, I enjoyed the ending. There seemed to be a bit of a cliffhanger. Perhaps this was an intentional way to engage your audience. Great job!
-Andy
Hello Paul, I just went through your project and read both stories! For your first story the title initially grabbed my attention but then when I clicked on it I was also immediately drawn to the photo that you used. It kind of gave your story a face in a way and that was pretty cool. I also like that you incorporated dialogue into it. That is something that I often forget to use when I write my stories and I think it adds effect! Your second story was so good. Like the first one, you picked a good image and it went well with it. The story developed well. It broke my heart when I got to the ending because this can be a reality of social classes. The ending was kind of abrupt because he just turned and left. Maybe he could have said something to James because in the end Patrick was still kind and had not changed. It could have been a short "I am going to be the bigger person" sort of ending speech.
ReplyDeleteHi Paul. I like the layout of your website. It looks very clean and it is easy to navigate! I also like the pictures that you used for both of your stories. For your first story, it was easy to picture Farrah as a mustached man with a top hat. The way you retold the Crane and the Crab story was ingenious. I recognized the story about halfway through and was impressed with the way you translated a fable into a tale about human folly. For your second story, I thought your retelling of the story of Drona and Drupada was good! I like the amount of dialogue you use in both of your stories. It's well-written and adds to the story in a great way. I like how you have added modern twists to both of your stories. Great job with this and I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHi paul! i really like the layout of your project and the picture you chose to use, they go with your theme great. I immediately loved your first story because i love trickster stories, you do a great job of introducing the characters and portraying their personalities and actions. Your introduction of the story immediately got me hooked and i already wanted to read more. the way your describe farrahs deceit on the other people in the city is awesome and it makes me sad all at the same time. your use of dialogue was great and helped me understand exactly what he was doing to trick the people. your ending is unique and really makes you mad that he got away with it, i love how you used his own words to end the story. the way you made this story your own is great and it was fun reading it from a different perspective. great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Paul!
ReplyDeleteI just finished your first story and I have to say, I really liked it! At first, I was like "How the heck is this guy doubling people's money and what's the point of all this?" But then he took it all and ran! That's smart! I like the picture used to illustrate Farah. It really fit the mood of the story and it helped me jump into that world a little easier. I'm awful at coming up with adaptations of the Jataka stories, so I'm really impressed with yours! I think you did a good job setting the scene at the beginning of the story. I love when writers do that because it really helps readers connect. I didn't really like how the dialogue was italicized, but that could be because I'm not used to seeing it written like that. I think I would like it better if it was just the dialogue italicized and nothing else. Other than that, I can't wait to come back and read another story!
Hi Paul! I really love what you have done with your portfolio so far. I read the two stories that are up so far and I really enjoyed them. I love how int he first one you changed up the font style as the story took a turn. I thought that was a very clever visual aid to add to the shift in the narration. I noticed some other people thought it was an odd choice, but I thought it really added to the overall look of the story. It looks like you have done some amazing work, so far, with telling these stories and bringing them to life. You have a great way of really pulling in and hooking the readers right off the bat with the beginnings of your tales. Keep up the good work and I hope I can read more of your works later.
ReplyDeleteHey Paul!
ReplyDeleteI just checked out the two stories on you portfolio project! I really enjoyed reading both of your stories. I thought you did an amazing job writing them and they were both interesting. In your first story, I liked how you took the moral from the original story and wrote about a gambler fooling people from a small town out of their wealth. Also, the way you wrote that story was nice because it was easy to read and interesting. I think the second story was my favorite because it had such a deep meaning behind the story about how a friendship could change as you grow older, and you start to realize who you are as a person. I liked how you just simplified it from the original story of Drona and Drupada’s friendship. I wander whenever James or Drupada grow older they regret being so rude to their childhood friend. Overall, great job on your stories!
I think you did a solid job with both of your stories so far! However, I think that your stories could be deeper. Right now, they feel a little surface level since the characters don't feel too deep. Some back and forth dialogue would definitely help with that. Right now, it just feels like there's too much narration about the characters actions without delving into the characters themselves. Everything else was great though! Oh and btw, your picture of "Rama" is actually Hanuman lol
ReplyDeleteHi Paul. I read your “The Gambler and the Fools” story. I thought it was really unique and creative story. Farah seems like an interesting character: he worked hard to trick people and would lose in anyway by gambling. I thought he was an amoral character. Farah was such a cunning and malicious character that he would disguise his identity to trick and manipulate naïve townspeople. I thought it was so blatant, cunning, and manipulate that Farah would just insist that he had doubled the money. I think he understood the herd or crowd mentality really well. Farah seemed to calculate that once the first person fell into trick, everyone would follow. It’s kind of amazing though that Farah would keep his poker face and keep deceiving people until he ripped everybody off. I wonder if Farah would have still been successful at deceiving people if he didn’t dress formally like a rich man. What if Jeriah was smarter and scrutinized Farah to find out his cunning trick? Farah wouldn’t have ripped people off. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHey there Paul,
ReplyDeleteI just finished looking at your portfolio, and I am definitely glad I did. It was very organized and very easy to navigate. The way you organized your stories, looks like you spent a lot of time on thinking about the layout of each story. I really enjoyed the pictures you used throughout your website, and I really enjoyed the old vintage one that you made large to accompany the story. In your portfolio I spent most of my time on the second story, because I was drawn to it. I can only imagine that these situations come about much more frequently than we often think. I really enjoyed how at the beginning it was just two kids that had no attention to their family’s wealth. But then as time went on and they became familiar to social structure and this changed the route of the friendship for the worse. I really enjoyed the story and I look forward to reading more from you.
Hi Paul! I like what you did for your portfolio so far! It looks very unique, casual, and creative! Especially with the image you have on for your home and story pages! Overall, your stories look amazing. The layout of your story looks different from everyone else’s; which makes yours stand out! Your stories are very creative as well. It is so creative that I could understand it came from your personality as a person. I know for a fact that you put a lot of effort into for your stories and your portfolio as a whole. Therefore, I applaud you for that! I especially love how you provided a broad description about your stories in your author’s note to have a better understanding for the readers. Overall, I just want to keep this short and simple that you did an amazing job for your portfolio project. Keep up the great work, Paul!
ReplyDeleteHey Paul! I really liked your story of the Selfless Gentleman. First, I saw the image at the top and it gave me a good setting for the image in my head as I read the whole story. I also liked that you gave Jonah a modern name. I think that you used your author’s note portion really well. In your author’s note, you mentioned that in the original story, Jonah’s family was with him. By making your story about Jonah and the animals, it made his seem more like a caring and humble man because he could’ve just eaten his animals but he chose to take care of them instead. I think one thing that would add to your story is to add dialogue. I think that some dialogue when used well, makes a story come to life! Overall, you did great job on the story and your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteHi Paul!
ReplyDeleteI think you've got some solid stories here. I really enjoyed reading the Selfless Gentleman and The Gambler and The Fools. The portion of dialogue that you included in the Gambler story fit in very well and did a good job helping the readers visually recreate your story in their minds. My only suggestion with the first story would be to add a paragraph or two that talks about some of Farah's previous adventures. I think it would be great to hear about some of his unsuccessful ventures so that, as I reader, I felt more worried about him running out of money. If I were to make any suggestions for the Gentleman story I would recommend considering switching up the wording at the end of the third paragraph. For some reason using "what was up" didn't feel like it flowed with the rest of the story to me. Overall, awesome job with your portfolio!
Hi Paul,
ReplyDeleteI think you have some really good stories here in your portfolio. You did really with with keeping the original theme of the stories intact while you made changes to create your own version of the stories while keeping the same moral. The dialogue that you added in The Gambler did a great job in making the story so much more interesting to read and easier to understand. It was so easy to get a picture of what was going o in my head while reading. For the Selfless Gentleman story I think it could be made so much better if you just added a little dialogue from Jonah into it. It would really make the story stand out even more which would add to how much more interesting i t would be to read.